Had you asked me yesterday, I'd have told you that the largest splinter in my mind was the 20-minute presentation I was scheduled to deliver on an experimental aerodynamic measurement technique using pressure sensitive paint. Fortunately, that's over and done with, and I've practically emptied my head of the memorized speech already.
If you asked me now, I'd tell you the two of my four worries that usurped the pole position of the presentation, one a short-term issue and one relatively long-term: (1) I found out what material my final exam in the previously discussed Viscous Flows class covers -- it's going to be messy; (2) I'm afraid this coming summer will mimic the bad parts about last one -- ear-piercing silence, with me by myself, coming home from lab only to eat dinner, sit around, sleep, lather, rinse, and repeat. These issues may appear unrelated at first glance, but they're not. You see, today is the last day of classes (LDOC), and at a previous point in my life LDOC heralded a time of great celebration, beautiful weather, outdoor concerts, and a few days of peace. In contrast, this year's LDOC is hectic with project/paper deadlines and a sense of panic. (Also, in an atmospheric about-face from an hour ago, the sky is absolutely pouring rain and crashing thunder right now. T'was unusually warm and muggy all day.. I should have seen this coming. Not a good omen, though, and now I don't want to go outside to the grocery.) Worry (1) is not overbearing by any means -- actually, the final is surprisingly fair, but unsurprisingly covers the type of matched asymptotic expansion that typically requires a 10-page (no exaggeration) solution -- but it's gonna chomp a considerable chunk of time out of this next week. I've uploaded a scanned page of my notes on thermocapillarity from the class. If you can make sense of it for me, I'll pay you a dollar.
Worry (2) is a little more disturbing, and it has spurred me into action (well, passive action). If I don't resolve it soon, (2) foreshadows the kind of repetitiveness that must have inspired NIN's "Every Day Is Exactly the Same". Now, the distillation of my worry isn't boredom -- I don't usually get bored because, simply, there's a hell of a lot to think about -- it's wastefulness. I've said it in other words before, but I'm paranoid about squandering what precious time I have as a youthful and energetic student by sitting at home, stumbling around the interwebs, griping about how much work I need to do. So the point of all this: I have decided to counteract the force of my nature in what little way I can. I'm going to keep a mental list of the things I'm happy about.
I haven't quite working out the optimal list length or how often I'll swap out the Happy (1), Happy (2), etc., because this list will be have a different purpose than the worry list. Where the worry list continuously adapts to fulfill my OCD need to be productive, the happy list will be more stable.. after all, items on the list won't need to change to keep me happy. Maybe I'll cycle through sets of four on a long list, so I can appreciate all the things that make me happy more fully. Regardless, the decision is now made to maintain said happy list.
As I write this, the thunderstorms rolling over downtown Atlanta have eased up (I'm not a very confident writer, and it takes quite a long time to impose order on these scrambled ideas), and a particularly attractive patch of pink and blue sky is poking out of the darker grey thunderheads. Forget the groceries, I think I'll take some pictures. After all, every problem is an opportunity...
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Update: It was beautiful outside. By the time I was ready to go back inside, it struck me (or didn't, thankfully) that the top of a parking deck covered in 20ft tall metal lightposts was a slightly irresponsible place to be in a thunderstorm.
After a brief pause to smile for my photoshoot, the storm has returned to its full force. No groceries, still.
